Stress is not a term that is uncommon to us.
We’ve heard about it, experienced it in our own lives, and we are made to believe that stress is – ultimately – inevitable.

Or is it?

Stress by definition is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.” (Definition according to Oxford Languages). 

By that definition, whether we experience stress or not is determined by how well we adjust to our circumstances. Whether these circumstances stay the same or change, they affect our stress levels. 

And the way in which stress influences us will differ as well. Stress can impact us, according to its definition, on an emotional level, but it can also impact us spiritually and physically.

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We need to prioritize answering the following questions when it comes to experiencing stress:

1. Why are we experiencing stress?
   Analyze your current situation and identify the pressure points that are causing stress. We want to identify the source of stress in order to limit the potential negative impact it can have on us.
2. How have we dealt with stress in the past?
   We want to identify our coping mechanisms, assess them, and determine how to deal with future stress in a healthy manner. 
3. What are our options for resolving the stressful circumstances?
   Every circumstance will require a different solution. 

We can analyze the following scenarios as examples of working through stress and determine how we can deal with it in order to limit our level of stress:

• Student scenario:
  • You might be stressing about your upcoming exams.
  • How do I deal with the stress?
    Drafting a schedule in advance in order to plan when you will study certain content, will help to limit your stress and make sure you get through all the work in time. This then allows you to focus on one thing at a time. You could also consult teachers or tutors to help you to work through content if your stress is due to finding the work difficult.
    
  • School bullying can also be a stressful circumstance that you might be facing.
  • How do I deal with the stress?
    Talk about it and share it with adults in order to resolve the bullying. Try to avoid the bullies and ignore them as much as possible should also help to eliminate the bullying and in the process, the stress as well.
    
• Parent scenario:
  • Time constraints and not being able to get everything done in time. 
  • How do I deal with the stress?
    Try to re-evaluate your priorities and focus on the important ones first. In my case, family and work life are my two most important priorities.
    Also evaluate how you can spend your time – for example, try online shopping instead of going to the shops to buy groceries. In the time it takes to be delivered, you can continue with another task.
    
  • Another example of a stressful circumstance is not being able to find admission space in school for your child or children.
  • How do I deal with the stress?
    (1) Doing more research on school options;
    (2) Trying different towns and hostel options;
    (3) Speaking to friends and family for their input;
    (4) In extreme cases, other means of education can also be considered, for example, home-schooling.

From the above scenarios, the bullying and lack of schools are perhaps two examples where we don’t have direct control over resolving the circumstances causing stress. We need to reposition ourselves in order to resolve or eliminate the conditions causing stress. We need to ask ourselves what we can control, and then take action.

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But is stress always a bad thing? 

A healthy level of stress can activate us in order to do something. It can set us into motion. But when we procrastinate too much, we can find ourselves in an unhealthy level of stress. Prolonged stress is also not healthy, as it can be damaging to our bodies and minds.

Potential red flags for stress (this is not an exhaustive list):

1. Facing physical health problems
2. Anxiety attacks
3. Disordered eating (emotional eating as a negative coping mechanism)

At the end of the day, we want to equip ourselves to have healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. We suggest the following as options you should consider:

1. Have a support network. This includes people you can trust in order to share, vent and get insight on specific scenarios and circumstances.
2. Equip yourself by doing research in order to resolve specific stressful circumstances.
3. Give yourself time in order to think clearly.
4. Set time aside for relaxing. Should you have a stressful job or lifestyle, for example, schedule holidays or time to invest in your hobbies.

In closing, we want to leave you with the following quote:

“Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens. And our response is something we can choose.” – Maureen Killoran.

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